Monday, August 25, 2003
I'll update as soon as the dorks that run Blogger get their act together.
Saturday, July 19, 2003
*GUESS WHO'S BACK!?*
What's up kids?!!
Fried is back so put your helmets on...
Czech back for updates daily,
By the way, my archives aren't working so i'll post the old stories again.
Tuesday, March 19, 2002
*Fall for love*
I was watching TV today, which made the day extraordinarily not unlike any other. On the Outdoor Life Channel they were doing a show on extreme sports. Rock climbing, speed skiing, BASE-jumping, bungee jumping, cliff jumping, and many other jumping activities, to name a few.
I found the segment on rock climbing especially interesting. There was a small bio of a famous rock climber who plummeted to his death while attempting to scale a particularly difficult rock face with no rope or harness. A person they interviewed about the incident said something that rang in my ears for a while afterwards. What he said was something I had heard many times before, which made it all the more strange that on this particular occasion I just couldn’t let it go. He said, “He died doing something he loved”, of course, speaking of his friend the rock climber that met his premature demise.
“He died doing something he loved.”
That is a very strange sentence, I think - if for no other reason – because it brings up a multitude of questions, the most prominent of which being, what exactly could he have loved doing more than not dying?
Had the rock climber, lets call him Jim, been on his death bed and then decided to go rock climbing knowing it would be the end of him, then he would have died doing something he loved. Let’s call a spade a spade, Jim fucked up and killed himself.
Another important thing to remember is that Jim didn’t have a massive coronary and drop dead attached to the rock, so unless Jim loved falling uncontrollably down the side of a mountain, he didn’t ‘die doing something he loved’, cause after all, it’s safe to say that the last thing Jim was involved in before his death was a first time event.
I don’t get all those extreme sportsmen anyway. But I guess if you’re gonna go………
Tuesday, March 05, 2002
*Help Along the Way*
It has been long since I have attended school, but I haven’t forgotten the people that helped me out along the way. Everyone seems to have that one special teacher, a mentor, or guide - if you will - that impacts their life. It could be something as small as a helping hand, or a boost of self-esteem, to something larger, like emotional support, or a strong push in a direction that ends up changing their life. A lot of people, including myself, have encountered such fortune, and most people,including myself, have not forgotten it.
However, I have also not forgotten the dirty bastards that made it a chore to get out of bed in the morning, and utterly painful to show up to school at all. This entry is dedicated to all those assholes.
Mr. Nestor, Grade 5 English: You kicked me out of class for being loud. After about 20 minutes in the hall I opened the door of the room and asked if I could come back in. You said, “Class, isn’t it much better with [fried] out in the hall?” They all said “Yeees”, in unison. I then turned to you and said, “Fuck you, buddy”, I was rapidly suspended for the remainder of the week.
Mr. Nestor, You are a prick, I hope you get scabies.
Mr. Sindell, Vice Principal, Middle school: You hated me. My older brother and sister went to the same school before me and you liked them. You filled in one day for an absent science teacher, I forgot my homework at home, you yelled at me, you are scum.
Mrs. Patel, Grade 9 French: The class made you cry, a lot. You were weak, and I’m sorry for taking advantage of you. But you gave me 50% for the year, if I ever see you again I’ll burn your house down.
Mr. Farden, Grade 9 Music: You were a stuck up bastard. I was only in music because it was a joke. I’m sorry I couldn’t play ‘rump pum pump’ on the drums, but perhaps if you gave me some sheet music instead of just singing my part to me I could have been better. You were a cocksucker then and I’m sure you’re still one now.
Mrs. Holstein, Grade 10 Drama: You suck, put on a bra you tree hugging slut.
Mr. Tidal, Grade 11 Something or other: I handed that map into you and so did Mike. They were both colored and labeled and they were great. YOU lost them, so YOU find them. Take that disgusting pink shirt off and get a life.
Prof. Blantree, Junior year Admin180: I did cheat on the final exam; you caught me and couldn’t prove it to the board. You did everything you possibly could to get me thrown out of College but you failed and I graduated the next year. I’m glad that Ben pushed you down to the ground and then smoked a whole pack of cigarettes. You are the worst professor I have ever encountered and I wouldn’t give you the steam from my piss.
Saturday, March 02, 2002
This is just a quick entry to bitch about something that has been bothering me for quite a while now. I’m going to go against the vibe of this web log and get a bit serious for a second. What in the name of holy hell is going on with music these days? The Grammy’s were a complete farce. A few deserving recipients were honored, and far be it from me to denounce any of the other nominees for not being ‘talented’. But quite honestly, popular music these days sucks dick.
Gone are the days where actual music was on the forefront. Now, record executive are force-feeding the masses with trumped up karaoke singers. N’sync, Backstreet Boys, Brittany, Jessica, et al are bad Broadway actors with horrible fashion sense and airbrushed dimples. Where are bands like the Allman Brothers, The Guess Who, and Pink Floyd? Bands that, while you may not ‘enjoy’ their music, you can appreciate the reality that these people are outstanding musicians. Songwriters like Leonard Cohen, Bob Dylan, and David Crosby have to sit back seat to people like Sean ‘Puff Daddy P Diddy’ Combs because kids these days are retarded.
Let me put forth a rhetorical question. 100 years from now who are people going to remember: Lennon and McCartney, or Spears and Timberlake? Good music is timeless, just ask the Grateful dead. It is a damn shame that young people have to grow up with MTV, it’s absolutely raping music.
There is plenty of excellent music out there but its being buried so deep under piles of over-produced, phony garbage. I know most people aren’t buying into it, but nevertheless the music industry is producing a generation of kids who won’t know the difference between musicians and actors.
For those of you who are heretofore unaware of what constitutes quality music, let me give you a short list off the top of my head of people making good MUSIC. Now you may not like the melody, or the tune, or something else about the song, but the music is real, the intent is authentic, and the message is clear.
…Phish, Ani Difranco, The Tragically Hip, the lyrics of Adam Duritz, the guitar of Mark Knopfler, Les Claypool on Bass, the harmonica of John Popper, - if you have never heard Trey Anastasio solo, shame on you - …and finally, whenever in doubt, just go Zeppelin…
(There are a few bright lights. I will congratulate Coldplay for their Grammy for Parachutes, in my humble opinion it is the best ‘popular’ studio album to be released since Radiohead’s OK Computer.)
Okay, now that that's out of my system, I feel a bit better. Now to lighten the mood, everyone lick the next person you see.
Tuesday, February 26, 2002
Why do the Dutch people have two names for their country, Holland and the Netherlands, and neither one of them include the word Dutch?
My only Superstition: if you drop a spoon, a pig will offer to finance your next car.
Sometimes on a rainy day I sit around and weed the losers out of my address book.
A meltdown sounds like fun. Like some kind of cheese sandwich.
Hard work is for people short on talent
Recent polls reveal that some people have never been polled. Until recently.
Always do whatever's next
People who should be phased out:
-Guys who always harmonize the last few notes of "Happy Birthday."
-Guys who wink when they're kidding
-Guys who can juggle, but only a little bit
-People who know a lot of prayers by heart
-People who say, "Knock knock," when entering a room and, "Beep beep," when someone is in their path
-Atheletes and coaches who give more than one hundred percent